We can Bad Detective: Food Chain [Uncut]all agree that regardless of how cute they may be, cats are real assholes.
It's just evolution — they're predators who domesticated themselves, and they'll just never be man's best friend. No matter how much love you shower on them, they may or may not return the affection. They're notorious for being ungrateful gift receivers — if you grace them with a new toy, they'll probably ignore it for weeks before showing any interest.
As the holiday season approaches, here are 10 gifts you can get your beloved fur baby. They may or may not appreciate it.
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1. A grass planter
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Maybe keeping fresh grass for your cat to gnaw on will prevent them from chewing your phone chargers. Maybe.
Plus, who doesn't love a good houseplant?
Price: $9.95 at Chewy
2. A fresh water fountain
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Your cat probably hates stale water as much as you do — and if they're curious, will probably resort to whatever they can find in human cups or worse, in the toilet. Nip it in the bud with a fresh water fountain.
Price: $26.99 on Amazon
3. A comfortable bed
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable OK, these beds are technically marketed to dogs. But your cats will probably love Casper's pet bed line, too — they're luxuriously soft.
Price: Casper pet beds start at $125.
4. A self grooming toy
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable If you're not home often and your cat is starved for some sweet, sweet brushing, get them a self grooming toy. It'll get all the good spots and even includes a fun hanging toy for them to swat at.
Price: $10.99 from Chewy
5. A fancy scratcher
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Tired of the 10-pound demon in your house shredding up your couch? Maybe it's time to give them a vertical scratcher to focus on instead.
Price: Wall scratchers start at $64.95 at ModernishShop on Etsy.
6. An automatic laser toy
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Keep your cat entertained for hours with an automatic laser toy. It appeals to their natural hunting instinct andwill keep them in active. We love to see it!
Price: $21.99 on Amazon
7. Tasty snacks
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable According to reviews, Tundra's freeze-dried cat treats are one of the healthiest cat treat option on the market. With pure protein and a variety of flavors, your cat won't get any nasty fillers.
Price: $8.99 on Amazon
8. Some catnip joints
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable The "Meowijuana Catnibas" joints will give your cat a lit night in. The pre-roll joints are packed with catnip that'll keep the 'nip contained for an easy clean up.
Price: $9.99 from Chewy
9. An elaborate cat tree
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Now thisis the height of luxury. How far are you willing to go to make your cat happy? Give your prince everything he deserves and more with this palatial perch. Will he actually use it? Who knows.
Price: $1,199.00 from PetTreeHouses on Etsy.
10. Literally a cardboard box
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable If you don't want to risk your asshole cat ignoring your very expensive purchase, you can always just get him or her a standard box. If they fits, they sits.
Price: $0.78 at Home Depot
These gifts are purr-fect to treat the bane of your existenceyour sweet fur baby to something nice this holiday season.
